. 

mm calmed down(:
normal.
went around tagging and commenting. super long never surf le. super no time to keep up:\
mm im like saying goodbyes and take cares.
is it too early?
mm idk luh. i scared i will be too busy!
i really need to get everything settled and settle myself down peacefully and organize and be peaceful before going to china.
its a real need. O:
i will really miss alot of people when im away for so long.
but i never emo about it (:
hahah okay silly thing to say. so sha gua.
because everything is just everything and thats just the way it is (:
lol i dont make sense.

粉色泡泡<3
彬　丽　文　婷　倩　莹　佳
as quoted from liying, chao funny! xD
omg its really the COOLEST THING WE'VE THOUGHT OF SO FAR :DDD
zhen de hen cool hen cool okay! ^^
pai drama serial!:D
属于我们的故事
wo ai ni men ((((((=
haopengyous. 好朋友!! :D

i'll smile even im tired, 
just to make someone's day (:

okay. back to reality.
the eighth of may has come.
thurs fri sat
three, two more days.

haha okay so i shall take a break from all the work! :D 


-

serious mode.

recently i've been in a weird state of mind.

my heart seems to be floating above the earth and doesnt seem to be settling down anywhere ,
im really sorry if this is because im leaving for china in 13 days. because i know i can no longer take control of my feelings even as i try ,

i shall try to, sort out

and write down all the little bits of thoughts and philosophies thats like taking up space in my brain O:
pardon all the 'you's and 'i's ;  sometimes im just questioning myself.

seriously, alot of us are becoming more and more practical.
like adults.

?, dont you start to question yourself why we do some things we do?
if we really want someone to know something, how would we say it?

do you know why people can be emo?
its a state of helplessness [无奈], insecurity and confusion ,
BECAUSE ,
we dont know what others are thinking.
thats it. full stop.

i think its the cause of alot of problems. 
people are playing the guessing game and the real message never gets across.

then dont you think that alot of things are actually very superficial? i dont want to say it explicitly, but you all can think.
but i guess, we can only say that if we'd had an experience of how real things can get.
then we'd definitely know, what are the things that matter the most to us.

if we're all so used to superficiality, how would we think otherwise?
idk, i really dont know.
anyway, its not up to me to decide right?

trust me, one day, we'll all grow up and agree with what our parents always say.
you know, those things about reality and how the world is like out there, what friendship is all (not) about etcetc.

last time i remember we'd protest and argue for our stand
but now, we are slowly accepting. 
one day, we will agree.

dont blame them you know?
i guess they've had their fair share of hurts.

haiis. i've got so much to say, so much within me ,
but its so exasperating not being able to get rid of them.
sigh. shall i get back to work?
..

you're so full of contradictions ,
but i no longer blame you.
because i dont even understand myself.

hahahahahahaa
omg im laughing :DDDD pillar knows why X]]]]
"we can never fall in love because"
haha shall not complete that sentence, damn jing dian ^^

heh i know i've got like 562905028 things to do tonight, but i shall blog first! :D haha i dont care le now got alot of feelings :D

today was a good day! :D met pillar for breakfast:D 
super cool. we're super cool, like laopengyous like that:D from H upgrade to L le wor! ;D
haha maybe 354892 years down the road we'll still be eating kaya toast and drinking milo together with white hair! :D
xiexieni luh, after talking to you, wo zhen de xiang tong le ^^

im so filled with happiness now that i dont want to do anything but just sit here smiling (((=

heh i shall continue later (:

__________________________________ <3


<3 okay back. time for dedications (:

pillar
we've been beside each other throughout everything. everything. [:
this sentence says so much, it says everything.
thank you for lighting the candle for me! you dont know, but you did (:

sandy
:DDD youuuu. always cheer me up de! (= 
today, i totally cheered up when you said we're gna write emails when im in china! :D
heh actually i was feeling quite glum about it de><
keep smiling, because you dont know how you can brighten someone else's day! (:

haha. i seldom write dedications de.

today i found back the word meaningful.
this is the kind of happiness and fulfilment i've been looking for, waiting for, you know?
haha. reality is still reality.
but dont lose hope.
we will only get our rainbow when we deserve/need it the most (:

ahh i forgot what are the many stuffs i want to write le
(:
a smile in words? 
nooo
sometimes, you just cant write a smile in words [:

omg. im still in a state of disbelief O: really, ahh

just got back home. to summarise ,school, soccer, clinic, hospital, school, home :\

shall write about all the drama that happened today, damn drama o: bnjs.

we were having the game during pe lesson. then jasmine and i were running for the ball. uh opposing teams. then i think we really ran super fast cos there didnt seem to be anyone around. everyone was behind me and i could only see grass.

then guess what? we banged into each other. 

super xia dao can! it all happened so fast, i didnt know what exactly happened. i just know we both fell to the ground and it was super pain. i think her head hit my face. but my head was super pain also. 

then people started running over. they told me there's a cut on my face, then bring me to wash..there was quite a wide cut below my right eye =x

then..i cant remember. when we got back to the field, there was a big first aid box. the whole class was there. super gan dong. everyone was like encouraging me and comforting me..really touched 

then bring me to general office and stuff. teachers. take down bags. call parents. 

wl. i thought it was just a cut okay. but they wanted to go clinic. all said it would be better to stitch, but i super scared. so they wanted to bring me to the clinic.
...
i dont know why all thru that, i kept crying like shit. i kept laughing and crying at the same time. i couldnt laugh alot cos it was painful. but i still kept laughing cos i cant control -.- lol. i really need to laugh de k! i think i need to laugh every day de (:

everyone keep telling me not to be scared. but actually i think i was really in great shock lor. bu neng jie shou what happened. 

and gan dong also. super super gan dong. zhen de shuo bu chu lai
mm i dont think all of you all will see this.,.but i was really really touched by you all. thank you xmillionssss<3

then after that ms chue drove to coro there the clinic. crap la. just walk in, examine. then refer to kk hospital. just like that, cost $50! O: 

drove to kk again. watied very long etcetc. i think i was abit constipated by then. maybe just now laugh too much le. even smiling was pain. then blink also pain. so close eyes lor, save all the trouble haha

finally went in to see the doctor. he said, definitely need to stitch D: ahhh. the moment i heard that i felt like puking and super dizzy. so kua zhang right o: dunno why also. the doctor say is cos i was feeling scared. but i dont even know. 

throughout the whole thing i dont even know what i was feeling. abit in a daze also. until now, i still feel like this type of thing really cant have happened O: but it really happened - -"

haha. they wanted to take xray also. cos there was a big black bruise. then super funny, cos i dunno how to take out my ear stud. damn shibai-.- cos i havent taken out since i pierced last month. they took the xray with the ear stud there lol.

the time came for the stitch O: but i was really lucky. cos got this advanced gel thing, they can just apply and your whole face will be numb (: not like last time have injection i remember. 

but i was still very scared. cos its the face you know! then the needle poke your face O:

the stitchers (eh got such word?) covered almost my whole face with a black cloth so that i cant see anything (: i could feel them poking my face with something. but they say havent start. cheat me lor! in the end they told me they zao jiu start le haha. 

but i knew luh. i where got so blur de, people stitch me i also dunno ;D shant mention the details man, it will sound quite gross i think><

rahh. i hope there wont be a scar on my face :\ hopefully hopefully not. cannot let the part touch water. the doc said dont wash that half of the face omg. and idk how im going to wash my hair man. need to figure it out! o:

okay so this is the end of my very drama story. i really still cant believe how such a drama thing can happen to me, so randomly! O: ahhh really really bu neng jie shou :\ 

and its like just a cut isnt it? still must go hospital to stitch. make it sound so serious. idk luh, it isnt that serious right? haiis :\

super super gan dong. ms chue was super nice also (=

today was actually quite an emo day. although it has become such a forbidden word. the feel, isnt it? ohwell.
-
nowadays i keep finding myself telling people and telling myself that its just a phase we have to get thru
whatever it is, can get thru de. just a phase.
then is life just a phase? nothing more than phases to get thru. 
it seems to feel like that now. for a very long time.
things like, endure, it'll be worth it in the end. etc


a farewell to innocence;


i know the candle is still there
just need someone to light it for me 

heh i think i want to change my style abit from now on (:
went to surf deviant and left many comments using glam-our.
think i will go add some new userpics later (:



found some stuff about rainbows too. quite interesting [:



i want to see this! :D rainbow on a road sign

and all these too: 
"a rainbow can best be seen with polarized sunglasses"
next time hopefully there happens to be a pair of shades when i see a rainbow lol ;D
"from an airplane in flight, a rainbow will appear as a complete circle with the shadow of the airplane in the center"
omg so cool! 
ohwell. if i really can see them one day, it'll be a miracle already[:
then i'll feel touched for the rest of my life. hahaha-.- 

oh do you know that no two people can ever see the same rainbow? they may be looking at the same rainbow but it is a different rainbow in each person's eyes. so cool right! i think its really cool (: 

"because the eyes of two people cannot occupy the same place in space at the same time. and raindrops are constantly in motion so its appearance is always changing. each time you see a rainbow it is unique in its own way" (:

COOL (:

time is zooming past.
every day go school, lessons are passing so fast.
now its lang arts. last lesson of the day. then assembly.
the day has ended. tmrw is thursday. the week has ended again :\
its just so frightening how someone seems to have turned the clock to superspeed. 
next, next week.
gone.
gone for one month.
any time to say goodbye?

sian. damn tired now. 
okay so long never post. update a short one 


this picture is so beautiful (:

nice song by stefanie sun:
眼神
被现实推挤
梦想会变形
执着让人
觉得好吃力

我只是看着你
了解的神情
微笑扬起
又能继续

有时候爱是一种眼神
赶走所有苦闷
是你让我记得自己不是一个人

有你在什么都有可能
因为彼此信任
真的爱情不需要保证

你从不劝我
别逆风飞行
牵手陪我
向梦前进 

shortest post ever
._.
hang in there. we will survive this.
sometimes i ask myself,
time is alr slipping away so quickly
is it worth it spending our days suffering like this
ohwell whatever
bye