MILLIONDOLLARSMILE[:

asmileinwords @ 2008-06-25T23:16:00

2008-06-25T15:17:29Z

Fatal Step ,by glam-our
http://glam-our.deviantart.com/
bye.

asmileinwords @ 2008-06-23T23:51:00

2008-06-23T15:53:05Z

asmileinwords @ 2008-05-08T00:18:00

2008-05-07T16:26:25Z

mm calmed down(:
normal.
went around tagging and commenting. super long never surf le. super no time to keep up:\
mm im like saying goodbyes and take cares.
is it too early?
mm idk luh. i scared i will be too busy!
i really need to get everything settled and settle myself down peacefully and organize and be peaceful before going to china.
its a real need. O:
i will really miss alot of people when im away for so long.
but i never emo about it (:
hahah okay silly thing to say. so sha gua.
because everything is just everything and thats just the way it is (:
lol i dont make sense.

粉色泡泡<3
彬　丽　文　婷　倩　莹　佳
as quoted from liying, chao funny! xD
omg its really the COOLEST THING WE'VE THOUGHT OF SO FAR :DDD
zhen de hen cool hen cool okay! ^^
pai drama serial!:D
属于我们的故事
wo ai ni men ((((((=
haopengyous. 好朋友!! :D

i'll smile even im tired,
just to make someone's day (:

okay. back to reality.
the eighth of may has come.
thurs fri sat
three, two more days.

FILLED[:

2008-05-07T15:34:33Z

真想要把今天心里的每一个感觉都写下来，
today was really a very very special day
memorable, [难忘]
i never felt more loved in my life. 非常非常感动，幸福。无比的幸福，
好久没有那样的快乐
我是被爱的，这让我觉得真的真的很感动
真是个很特别的一天，难以形容
想把每一刻的回忆都留住。每一个祝福，每一个微笑，每一个小小的幸福，
都想把它们完全地记下来
可是我知道是不可能的。这是一个很难形容的回忆，看不见，摸不着的感觉。
像是那么的深刻，却好像一中飘浮的感觉
我虽然记不得，但一定会把这份感动收在心里
很感激能看到生命中的美丽
我知道什么是错过的幸福，所以不想身在福中不知福
今天我过得非常的开心
i enjoyed every moment of it<3
mm i know everything may sound so drama at this moment, or cliche..
but it really means alot alot to me (= today, i am really thankful and happy (=
kaixinnnnn[:
i totally did not expect it to be this way
cos this is really a busy period, 今年totally 没有期待的感觉
根本没有把这天的到来放在心上
却在我正忙着工作，很劳累的时候，
突然让我停下脚步，看到了那么多那么多美丽
好多爱突然涌上心头
i was really touched because people remembered even though i myself down there abit forget><
really, 7th of may, it is just a normal day to others, but i was just overwhelmed by all their love<3
i was really touched by everything<3
everything was just so sweeeeeet[:
its like living a day in a fairytale, and you're the princess
today i really felt that birthday is such a sweet thing (:
next time someone else's birthday, i will be able to empathise and share the joy!
and doing sweet things for others on their birthday yuan lai means so much! so special! :D
这真是一种说不出的感动
要回味，也无法重演
但我真的很满足，很满足
不要求什么
真的什么都不要求
every lil bit, from big to small, every little bit meant so much (:
sometimes its the small things that really matter (:
&很多东西，我发现不用说太多次
很多东西不用说，都能以一颗敏感的心灵去感受
有人说生命不是缺乏美丽，而是缺乏发现美丽的一双眼睛
生命不是缺乏感动，而是缺乏一颗会感动的心
there are so many things in life that are so delicately beautiful ,
不管多累，都要走下去
不要忘记
今夜，我把这小小的美丽收藏在我心里
this is such a drama post[:
i know im a really emotional person (:
undescribable
it means so much(=
XIEXIE<3

&every little drama just flies by like history

2008-04-27T08:27:26Z

haha okay so i shall take a break from all the work! :D

the weather is super super hot today! scary O: just went to jurong point for the sake of buying bubbletea for bro and myself, haha lame right;D but really shou bu liao the heat lor! and im such a nice sis to buy him curry puff and some squid thing he likes luh. then he very happy now^^

oh man so sad my bubbletea is finished le! D: haha im feeling lame now. shall get serious later (:
decide to use the com in the dark cos lights will produce more heat energy- -"
anw just now the oreo bubbletea alr become like chocolate water before i can even get home, which is like just opposite jurong point-.-

i like livejournal (: uh sorry randomness (:

just now my uncle came over to repair the screwed internet connection these few days.
then i asked him about photoshop and stuff,
and ended up downloading the free trial.
so now i have photoshop for 30days! but i have no clue how to use it-.-

should i switch to gmail for msn?
i think hotmail is quite lag. and my gmail address is nicer!
but then i will have to set up the contact list again. and do i add everybody on my current list? idk.

-

serious mode.

recently i've been in a weird state of mind.

my heart seems to be floating above the earth and doesnt seem to be settling down anywhere ,
im really sorry if this is because im leaving for china in 13 days. because i know i can no longer take control of my feelings even as i try ,

i shall try to, sort out

and write down all the little bits of thoughts and philosophies thats like taking up space in my brain O:
pardon all the 'you's and 'i's ; sometimes im just questioning myself.

seriously, alot of us are becoming more and more practical.
like adults.

?, dont you start to question yourself why we do some things we do?
if we really want someone to know something, how would we say it?

do you know why people can be emo?
its a state of helplessness [无奈], insecurity and confusion ,
BECAUSE ,
we dont know what others are thinking.
thats it. full stop.

i think its the cause of alot of problems.
people are playing the guessing game and the real message never gets across.

then dont you think that alot of things are actually very superficial? i dont want to say it explicitly, but you all can think.
but i guess, we can only say that if we'd had an experience of how real things can get.
then we'd definitely know, what are the things that matter the most to us.

if we're all so used to superficiality, how would we think otherwise?
idk, i really dont know.
anyway, its not up to me to decide right?

trust me, one day, we'll all grow up and agree with what our parents always say.
you know, those things about reality and how the world is like out there, what friendship is all (not) about etcetc.

last time i remember we'd protest and argue for our stand
but now, we are slowly accepting.
one day, we will agree.

dont blame them you know?
i guess they've had their fair share of hurts.

haiis. i've got so much to say, so much within me ,
but its so exasperating not being able to get rid of them.
sigh. shall i get back to work?
..

you're so full of contradictions ,
but i no longer blame you.
because i dont even understand myself.

true friendships dont fade easily

2008-04-26T15:58:09Z

hahahahahahaa
omg im laughing :DDDD pillar knows why X]]]]
"we can never fall in love because"
haha shall not complete that sentence, damn jing dian ^^

heh i know i've got like 562905028 things to do tonight, but i shall blog first! :D haha i dont care le now got alot of feelings :D

today was a good day! :D met pillar for breakfast:D
super cool. we're super cool, like laopengyous like that:D from H upgrade to L le wor! ;D
haha maybe 354892 years down the road we'll still be eating kaya toast and drinking milo together with white hair! :D
xiexieni luh, after talking to you, wo zhen de xiang tong le ^^

im so filled with happiness now that i dont want to do anything but just sit here smiling (((=

heh i shall continue later (:

__________________________________ <3

<3 okay back. time for dedications (:

pillar
we've been beside each other throughout everything. everything. [:
this sentence says so much, it says everything.
thank you for lighting the candle for me! you dont know, but you did (:

sandy
:DDD youuuu. always cheer me up de! (=
today, i totally cheered up when you said we're gna write emails when im in china! :D
heh actually i was feeling quite glum about it de><
keep smiling, because you dont know how you can brighten someone else's day! (:

haha. i seldom write dedications de.

today i found back the word meaningful.
this is the kind of happiness and fulfilment i've been looking for, waiting for, you know?
haha. reality is still reality.
but dont lose hope.
we will only get our rainbow when we deserve/need it the most (:

ahh i forgot what are the many stuffs i want to write le
(:
a smile in words?
nooo
sometimes, you just cant write a smile in words [:

omg

2008-04-25T08:33:26Z

omg. im still in a state of disbelief O: really, ahh

just got back home. to summarise ,school, soccer, clinic, hospital, school, home :\

shall write about all the drama that happened today, damn drama o: bnjs.

we were having the game during pe lesson. then jasmine and i were running for the ball. uh opposing teams. then i think we really ran super fast cos there didnt seem to be anyone around. everyone was behind me and i could only see grass.

then guess what? we banged into each other.

super xia dao can! it all happened so fast, i didnt know what exactly happened. i just know we both fell to the ground and it was super pain. i think her head hit my face. but my head was super pain also.

then people started running over. they told me there's a cut on my face, then bring me to wash..there was quite a wide cut below my right eye =x

then..i cant remember. when we got back to the field, there was a big first aid box. the whole class was there. super gan dong. everyone was like encouraging me and comforting me..really touched

then bring me to general office and stuff. teachers. take down bags. call parents.

wl. i thought it was just a cut okay. but they wanted to go clinic. all said it would be better to stitch, but i super scared. so they wanted to bring me to the clinic.
...
i dont know why all thru that, i kept crying like shit. i kept laughing and crying at the same time. i couldnt laugh alot cos it was painful. but i still kept laughing cos i cant control -.- lol. i really need to laugh de k! i think i need to laugh every day de (:

everyone keep telling me not to be scared. but actually i think i was really in great shock lor. bu neng jie shou what happened.

and gan dong also. super super gan dong. zhen de shuo bu chu lai
mm i dont think all of you all will see this.,.but i was really really touched by you all. thank you xmillionssss<3

then after that ms chue drove to coro there the clinic. crap la. just walk in, examine. then refer to kk hospital. just like that, cost $50! O:

drove to kk again. watied very long etcetc. i think i was abit constipated by then. maybe just now laugh too much le. even smiling was pain. then blink also pain. so close eyes lor, save all the trouble haha

finally went in to see the doctor. he said, definitely need to stitch D: ahhh. the moment i heard that i felt like puking and super dizzy. so kua zhang right o: dunno why also. the doctor say is cos i was feeling scared. but i dont even know.

throughout the whole thing i dont even know what i was feeling. abit in a daze also. until now, i still feel like this type of thing really cant have happened O: but it really happened - -"

haha. they wanted to take xray also. cos there was a big black bruise. then super funny, cos i dunno how to take out my ear stud. damn shibai-.- cos i havent taken out since i pierced last month. they took the xray with the ear stud there lol.

the time came for the stitch O: but i was really lucky. cos got this advanced gel thing, they can just apply and your whole face will be numb (: not like last time have injection i remember.

but i was still very scared. cos its the face you know! then the needle poke your face O:

the stitchers (eh got such word?) covered almost my whole face with a black cloth so that i cant see anything (: i could feel them poking my face with something. but they say havent start. cheat me lor! in the end they told me they zao jiu start le haha.

but i knew luh. i where got so blur de, people stitch me i also dunno ;D shant mention the details man, it will sound quite gross i think><

rahh. i hope there wont be a scar on my face :\ hopefully hopefully not. cannot let the part touch water. the doc said dont wash that half of the face omg. and idk how im going to wash my hair man. need to figure it out! o:

okay so this is the end of my very drama story. i really still cant believe how such a drama thing can happen to me, so randomly! O: ahhh really really bu neng jie shou :\

and its like just a cut isnt it? still must go hospital to stitch. make it sound so serious. idk luh, it isnt that serious right? haiis :\

super super gan dong. ms chue was super nice also (=

有些话想对一个人说，却说不出口
但也有一些感谢和感动，也是说不出来的
sometimes saying thank you just doesnt convey the feeling you know?
words simply just arent enough.
kept hugging people and holding people's hands.
theres just this need you know?
i dont want to start thanking people here. because there are just so many im grateful to.
dont you think humans are really emotional creatures?
and i think alot of emotions just cant be explained.

my head's feeling heavy now. with what? thoughts?
lol. ayee dunno. im going to sleep or sth. i am still in a daze o:
and i missed cca ): 1 more? 2 more? omg i dont want to start thinking about it :/
当最你时候你哪？
haveyoueverfeltlikeyourheadyourheartyoureverything'sinsuchabigbigmessandyoudontknowwhattodoaboutitandsometimesyoujustfeellikerunningsomewherejustescapeoutofthisplacebutyoudontknowwhereyouwanttogobutnoonewillunderstandcosyoudontevenunderstandityourselfandyoudontevenknowhowtostarttalkingorthinkingaboutit.
so familiar, yet so unfamiliar.

asmileinwords @ 2008-04-24T23:46:00

2008-04-24T16:14:12Z

today was actually quite an emo day. although it has become such a forbidden word. the feel, isnt it? ohwell.
-
nowadays i keep finding myself telling people and telling myself that its just a phase we have to get thru
whatever it is, can get thru de. just a phase.
then is life just a phase? nothing more than phases to get thru.
it seems to feel like that now. for a very long time.
things like, endure, it'll be worth it in the end. etc

a farewell to innocence;

i dont know what i want to say ,
this picture speaks a thousand words

why are you so, so self confident?
i find myself not agreeing with alot of things, but i cannot really do anything about it.
wu nai.
and i've lost my balance
only have to try to accept
then again, its just another phase :\
you know it cos you've gone thru it before
i rather not know so much

seriously, i really miss alot of things in the past
almost everything, actually.
sec2 for the simplicity. and last year for the drama.
ferris wheels make you go up and down, up and down. but at least you get to touch those fireworks up there
now everything that i draw is black and white. :\ can rewind the colours?
innocence, disappearing.
everyone has moved on.
what if you lost something, but you dont feel sad about it?
good or bad?

we miss alot of things in the past because we no longer have it now.
so its supposed to teach us to cherish the present right?
but how can you make yourself have the true feeling of cherish without really knowing how much better it may be than the future?
no. so i think this kind of sentences is just very cliche ._.

and im pulling away, letting go.
once again. that feeling is back
just gotta learn to deal with it.
by escaping? do you call this running away?
what else can i do?
you wont understand.
and i dont want to talk about it.
脱离
对不起我这样做

actually, is there a point of saying sorry when it doesnt matter to anyone?

i really, really liked the rain today
its soft, peaceful and quiet.
hate thunderstorms
thunder and lightning
drizzles are not as nice too
beautiful rain (:
maybe alot of things are as rare as rainbows
its just a matter of how beautiful we think it is (:
if something is really beautiful to you, you will feel a rush of thankfulness when you get to see it
then you will keep looking forward to seeing it
such beauty becomes rare and cherished (:

this post is really ._.
its not really what i want to say. does it sound very negative? idk. but idk how to express the feeling otherwise also.
sorry for my moods. any kind. i feel very bad about them also. but cant seem to be in control of anything these days
&imsofullofimperfections

i know the candle is still there
just need someone to light it for me

pictures for the day

2008-04-24T15:30:51Z

heh i think i want to change my style abit from now on (:
went to surf deviant and left many comments using glam-our.
think i will go add some new userpics later (:

okay must acknowledge. works by Marinshe on deviantart.

found some stuff about rainbows too. quite interesting [:

i want to see this! :D rainbow on a road sign

and all these too:
"a rainbow can best be seen with polarized sunglasses"
next time hopefully there happens to be a pair of shades when i see a rainbow lol ;D
"from an airplane in flight, a rainbow will appear as a complete circle with the shadow of the airplane in the center"
omg so cool!
ohwell. if i really can see them one day, it'll be a miracle already[:
then i'll feel touched for the rest of my life. hahaha-.-

oh do you know that no two people can ever see the same rainbow? they may be looking at the same rainbow but it is a different rainbow in each person's eyes. so cool right! i think its really cool (:

"because the eyes of two people cannot occupy the same place in space at the same time. and raindrops are constantly in motion so its appearance is always changing. each time you see a rainbow it is unique in its own way" (:

COOL (:

thoughts for the day

2008-04-23T03:34:25Z

time is zooming past.
every day go school, lessons are passing so fast.
now its lang arts. last lesson of the day. then assembly.
the day has ended. tmrw is thursday. the week has ended again :\
its just so frightening how someone seems to have turned the clock to superspeed.
next, next week.
gone.
gone for one month.
any time to say goodbye?

asmileinwords @ 2008-04-22T23:16:00

2008-04-22T15:32:04Z

sian. damn tired now.
okay so long never post. update a short one

this picture is so beautiful (:

nice song by stefanie sun:
眼神
被现实推挤
梦想会变形
执着让人
觉得好吃力

我只是看着你
了解的神情
微笑扬起
又能继续

有时候爱是一种眼神
赶走所有苦闷
是你让我记得自己不是一个人

有你在什么都有可能
因为彼此信任
真的爱情不需要保证

你从不劝我
别逆风飞行
牵手陪我
向梦前进

shortest post ever
._.
hang in there. we will survive this.
sometimes i ask myself,
time is alr slipping away so quickly
is it worth it spending our days suffering like this
ohwell whatever
bye

everything always unfolds ,so beautifully

2008-04-17T13:09:21Z

Tags: photo, deviant, arcade, bball, camera, bubbletea, stone, high, baichi, unglam (:
with lots of crazy stuff in between
today was a very filled day[:
haha. shall not describe like what i always do-.-
我会珍惜每一个经验，每一次机会
sometimes i forget im a student too - -"
welldone man, we are the best;D

image titled boredom, captured by photographer and her lumix fx-18[:
yeah its real. its our school cat (:
go to http://glam-our.deviantart.com/
im proud of you! (= zdzd:D

-

faces of nanyang settled.
im glad we really did something serious about it for once (:
inspired. shall update deviant journal later.
& we're still constantly learning.
no hopes of winning, though of course, who doesnt want to win?lol
i've never won anything in my life before, i think
im just really glad we did it (:
whatever the outcome,
everything happens for a reason[:

okay. its thursday night. damn tired.
shall be focused tonight and complete the eec assignments omg:/
今天我真的很开心<3

asmileinwords @ 2008-04-15T23:07:00

2008-04-15T15:42:47Z

some nice quotes for the day (:
its nice to love and know that you are loved (:
because you see, that is not always what we get. we are not always sure.
we all give in different ways. really, we gotta learn to appreciate each other more. everyone's different. and, ohwell. sometimes we may just think that everyone in this world is weird except for us. haha bnjs;D

with walls and a pillar, i will not fall (:
uh sorry im being abit biased with the colour ;D

今天所发生的事情，小小的点点滴滴，仿佛是想要叫我什么，让我领悟什么
很小很小的奇迹，叫什么？
and im touched by the people around me, for all the little things they do (:
do you know that actually every one of us makes a difference in other people's life? sometimes, its alot. to certain people. and we dont even know. rahh my brain is dead idk what im talking about but im trying to express that feeling ,
if you are always thinking about how other people have made a difference in you, how others mean to you, have you ever thought about how you could affect others? has it come to you that the things you do can make people smile? and the things you dont sometimes. ohwell. idk what im talking about again.
总之，im just grateful to have my walls and pillar of support around me^^
无言的感激

rahh life is getting so tiring :/
but wo xiang tong le
its just a period of stressful and screwed times again :/ will get thru it de
and im giving myself too much stress-.-
bu ke yi sheng bing mannn. must make it till the end of the week haha!
and the days are passing so quickly we dont even know it.
its a fact that everything's gonna come to an end soon
and every day we might so very well be wishing it'll pass soon so that we can rest
ohwell. are these important?
its alr mid april. almost half a year gone now you think of it.

yeh right studies are important. but its not worth it to neglect your family and friends and uh happiness
and im tired of superficial stuff.
REAL. i want REALNESS
get it?
the things that really matter
hold on to it alright?
why let go of your balloon to pick flowers, just because the flowers are nice
are the flowers even yours? no, they belong to the grass-.-
im very sure you dont want to try the feeling of watching the balloon rising further and further away into the sky
dont cry only after you drop your ice cream okay?
lets all grow up

loll i think im lamed out by myself. where do i get such amusing ideas-.0
i want to go kyushu but then jap olevels clash -.- lame si ler.
learn 4 years never get a chance to speak native, just so sad lor :/

hahahhaa.
photographer and i are going to take part in the faces of nanyang competition
lame right;D
such an ulu competition, no one will take part de-.-
anyone wanna vote for us? lol
then if we win we will go on stage during morning assembly to receive the prize
everyone will be amused.
okay. end of story. goodnight:D

i love you can be said in so many ways. sometimes, you dont even need to say it
and yes, eyes can talk. look people in the eyes okay (: dont be afraid of what you'll see. and dont be afraid to let people see whats inside(:
hahha random lyrics 有时候爱是一种眼神
and a hug is a gift. to be cherished ,and maybe it'll lose its meaning if its given easily
就是因为属于我和你的一切得来不易
我们才会那么的珍惜每个小回忆

asmileinwords @ 2008-04-15T08:46:00

2008-04-15T00:52:32Z

站在向上的楼梯口，
突然好渴望
有人对我说声加油

asmileinwords @ 2008-04-14T21:48:00

2008-04-14T14:02:09Z

okay. i realise that my posts are going to be very random and no content these days. paiseh:\ cos very distracted and busy, not in the poetic/emo mood lol :D
sth i accomplished today: FINALLY organised the music in my phone! O: lol. it used to be in a horrible mess. like all the tracks ungrouped and all like one big dump of songs o:
rahhh. so many random stuff to do on the com. just had a very tedious time printing mr lim's ih notes, super detailed (: omg and today we just realised that seminar presentation is next week! o:
okay tonight i shall aim to be efficient. there's chem quiz tmrw, and i havent studied yet. and i think im going to fail as usual-.- but projects are getting worrying too :\
ps i rlly have no time to visit other people's blogs and only have some limited time to come here and rant and fa xie, during which i try to type as fast as possible-.-
okay chentian rocks (: she created nice msn backgrounds for me^^ super nice. thats the reason i talk to you. HAHA. no la joking you know X]
ONE DAY. i shall go your house for lessons on how to do cool stuff (: shi fu!

okay. some photography stuff,
i really really want sony cybershot w200! ayee but its an impossible dream haha;D 12.1 megapixels okay! ISO 6400!! :D and enhanced flash functions. okay the optical zoom is only 3X but can add lens de (: rahhh. but it costs like $799 i think :\ oh well. let that be a dream to work towards when i grow up and earn money^^
hahha and i think sony's VAIO CR luxury pink laptop is very nice too (:
okay. enough of expensive and impossible stuff. am i becoming more materialistic these days O:
loll

haha. so amusing. today liying asked me what i want for my birthday on the mrt XD
haopengyous lol. hahhaaha so many times le. maybe i wont be surprised? (=
okay luh. i think customised jewellery is really pretty [: i still love that necklace you all gave me last year^^
okay thats all. i dont like putting wishlists and stuff like that.
hmm okay. thats all. i shall go start on chem sia and lun wen now!
jiayou!:D

asmileinwords @ 2008-04-14T00:57:00

2008-04-13T17:07:04Z

hmm i realise my previous post was quite long. as in i didnt have the mood to organise and just typed everything out.
haiis. this period of time is a very stressful and busy and siannn time D: nvm. must cheng okay all of us (:
seriously need a photo sorting session! uh sorry i know i need to send people photos also. i got remember de okay! and need to get some from people also:\ nvm. there will be a time!
ahhhhhhhh D: now its one! O: omg. just finished geog proposal not long ago. and dl-ed some songs i put off for quite a while.
okay. tonight pia-ed alot of work. feeling a lil accomplished? okay luh its more of no choice. went to sao mu for the WHOLE day. so many places to go cann. ahh sorry if i make you all misunderstand, its not that i dont care about the family or think that sao mu is lame. but i just got no mood today okay? normally i will be very enthu and happy to see my grandparents de. today i was just very stressed and distracted and worried okay? ps luh.haii. and idk why my bro is so rude to my parents. haii suan le nvm
thoughts in a mess now. ayee i must clear the work mann. cannot like that. i bnjs living in a mess like this any longer! eh anyway bnjs is another short form of (ours) X] bu neng jie shou! :D okay luh its my kou tou chan
busybusybusyyyyyyyyy
sorry that i cannot visit other people's blog very often. really sorry =( i want to know whats going on in everyone's life u know. like so interesting to read also(: but then, haiis. i must get all this work cleared soonnnn!
oh before i go haha
i remember something happy(:
MONKEY!
<3333 love it
its so cute okay! i see it will cheer up de (:
its name is, BKSY X]
because it is really bksy (:

appreciation;
i want weekdays work and lessons to be over
but i rlly dont want time to pass so fast
contradiction

asmileinwords @ 2008-04-10T22:08:00

2008-04-10T15:00:26Z

okay. its really time to get back to reality. i on-ed the com with alot of gan chu. okay now the atmosphere at home is not very good. oh well. we dont get what we want all the time (: even in those moments we long for perfect moments, or just some nice ones (:
see. this is what happens. you and i, always do things by the heart. totally not realistic at all -.- and we dont even understand ourselves, thats the best thing. no one will understand [:
i think today was a meaningful day[: went with xinyi, chentian and some other 408ers after school for the bio talk. wl i was interested in the bio talk cann. yuan lai wo shi xi huan bio de. lol. but im not taking bio in jc man, dont want anymore dissections ):
gogo drop all the sciences and be an artist [ ^^ lol. impractical AGAIN.
wl. who can jie shou such impractical thinkings? except _. ^^ sha sha de wo.

so we're leaving for china in like, one month? time really flies. and im feeling really contradicting. okay i know wo men da jia dou facing the same kind of feeling. others will never understand. today i was saying to peiying, we take something, we lose something. cant have everything in life. and you know what? she gave me this beautiful reply that really made me smile ;
cos we dont need everything in life (:

yepp true. already jie shou that i will again drift apart from alot of people and things i have to leave behind. but am also looking forward to our life when we get there (: which one more, i cant say for now. its like, everything is important and meaningful in their own ways. cant compare people, cant compare things.
but sometimes, i cant help feeling that letting go too much can make one afraid of taking up.
sometimes, its even so tiring to let new people in.
dont you feel so too?

now im in this halfway state. not emo, quite neutral about everything everyday. but it just feels..ahh i dont know. shall just put it aside and think about it when the time is right okay. face things when they come. anyway theres like damn lots of work piling up nowadays :\ sian. but work is work, still have to do it. i realise that the work is still there if you dont feel like doing and leave it there. its still there, and still must complete. wl. no luh i not now then realise, after like 4 years- -" okay but i finally got my studying attitude right this year. at least i will finish homework at night and not chiong in school. okay fine nowadays not many people are doing that -.-

okay enough about work. sian. tonight totally no mood to do work. okay today actually. we were doing a sbq timed trial during ih, and i very relaxed-ly wrote like only 2 pages and only one side of the argument, totally never write anything about the other side at all. and then handed in the incomplete work very calmly, totally feeling neutral. best luh.

okay i should quickly calm myself down and collect my thoughts as i type everything out, and quickly go do my zuo wen and chem ws. lol. can see how screwed i am? and tmrw morning got 2.4 somemore, welldone.

perspectives. everything is on perspectives right. now i realise. its like, the same thing, you see it on different days with different moods and then you see a totally different thing alr. even if you get emo or affected over whatever, will others even know or care? it all about your own perceptions. other people most likely will be feeling perfectly normal even if you are really down there feeling nan shou. you might think that someone is thinking alot and worry about doing the wrong things but then actually everything is pointless and just that you xiang tai duo. okay i know this is not exactly the most clever realisation i've ever come to, but things that happen recently really made me see this so clearly once again. everything is all about perceptions isnt it? its just what you feel, what you think. you might be feeling emo or affected, but its just what you feel okay? things might not be that way at all.

but then again, we never know for sure. we never know what other people are thinking. i think most of us will in some way or another wonder about what others are thinking. but then please luh do we even know? all the things that we say we sense, like we sense what they are thinking or feeling, we are just assuming! everyone's just assuming and guessing. and where is the real truth? we might be convinced by ourselves when we see things, maybe some small things that others do, or their eyes, their expressions, those small lil moments..but dont you think its just our perception? sometimes we just think that what we see is so real that we believe it.

anyway, no one knows whats the truth. what is truth? does it even exist. isnt everything that we thought is real just what we believe in?

actually, idk anymore. but then im tired. dont want to know.
no time to think anyway, life is rushing by so fast. and it feels like running a race.

the memories are there for us to create
its just a matter of whether we dare to or not.

______________

feel like posting some random pictures again [:

title of this picture is SEE NO EVIL (:
we dont give up hope okay. fate will play jokes on us but it wont give us everything bad de [:

heh this is the most jing dian photo, where it all started (:

hahha sorry luh, both pictures are of the same person (: just a coincidence okay? lol. okay la no, got special meaning one;D

i am looking forward to everything so much you know?
but i dont want time to pass so fast also.
one month minus one more day
okay we're leaving in week eight. and now's only week four i know.
but why do i get this feeling every day like time is running out, time is running out?
okay i may sound overly pessimistic here. yeh la the way i say it abit drama. i am okay de (:
只是心里总有一中要抓紧一切的感觉

(= today xinyi gave me a strawberry pocky. wo de zui ai! zhen de cannot explain my love for strawberry pocky:D kaixinnn! ^^
also, - <3 感动ed.
the feeling of being surprised is really very very nice! 甜滋滋的感觉 ^^

that also explains all the drama we held so closely between us
you are so full of surprises
i guess i am too[:

florida's mornings ;D

2008-04-07T16:09:03Z

BEAUTIFUL SUNRISE:D
waa damn drama k. i was feeling sian as usual when the alarm rang. then i opened my eyes and saw this beautiful sun rising right in front of my eyes! super excited and jump up from the bed! then rushed to take the camera. uh cos i scared the sun will like disappear mah. you know, like rainbows? ;D beautiful things in the sky are just so..short-lived.

its not every day, you get to see such mornings [:

it makes me kind of wish, or at least imagine, the art kind of life. maybe when i grow up i can be an artist:D uh abit drama yeh. but if i wasnt a student, dont need to rush to school, can slowly walk downstairs and explore capturing the sun at different angles. so nice [:

hmm okay. got the photos from our session one! heh not bad, not bad for a first try! :D though the stuff we take, it just gives a different feeling from those at deviantart. dunno why. the way they pose? we try to take those photos but it still ends up not giving people that feel. haha nvm, shall improve next time! there will be a next time (: china hahahha:D

just now i had some rather emo stuff to write about. but now after doing all sorts of crap stuff for the night as usual, and uh yeah abit of chem sia and clear abit of work, - no mood le. i guess its good (: yepp. no point talking about stuff sometimes (:

you have taught me to run away but now i run with more courage

okay, a song i wanted to post for quite some time

洋葱
如果你眼神能够为我
片刻的降临
如果你能听到
心碎的声音
沉默的守护著你
沉默的等奇迹
沉默的让自己
像是空气

大家都吃著聊著笑著
今晚多开心
最角落里的我
笑得多合群
盘底的洋葱像我
永远是调味品
偷偷的看著你
偷偷的隐藏著自己

如果你愿意一层一层一层的剥开我的心
你会发现你会讶异
你是我最压抑
最深处的秘密
如果你愿意一层一层一层的剥开我的心
你会鼻酸你会流泪
只要你能听到我
看到我的全心全意

听你说你和你的他们
暧昧的空气
我和我的绝望
装得很风趣
我就样一颗洋葱
永远是配角戏
多希望能与你有一秒
专属的剧情

wa piang the whole lyrics is so nice i dunno how to highlight haha ;D

asmileinwords @ 2008-04-06T23:31:00

2008-04-06T16:32:53Z

time for pictures! finally sorted them out le. its alr 11.30! i think parents will want me to sleep soon :/
today's photography; i discovered 2 series! haha trying to act pro again yeh sure X]
BIG SPACES &
light and darkness!
:D

fear of the unknown
-.-

stupid gwentan keep taking pictures of everyone hahahha so crazy:D

scary hand o:

<33

qianrui taking picture of her heels haha:D

quite cool[:

si baichi X]
damn childlike, cant stand it:D

waa emo!

ke ai luh^^

aiyo what are they doing o:
nvm quite cool (:

damn contrast!

GREENNNNNNN X]

wow im making super lots of lj cuts o: haha

<33 twinnnn

heh i know you like this picture alot [:

okay im finally done with posting pictures><
i like this time de (: cos all got alot of gan jue (:
the rest of today's photos, will upload to our photobucket soon (:
wl im like the most enthu one-.-
they all all go sleep le.
or maybe, i just dont want today to end
a day of pure simple happiness[:

sweetestmemories[:

2008-04-06T14:37:28Z

haha. just finished crapping out the zuo wen. the best thing is that i have no gao zhi so i typed the whole thing out -.- welldone.
this weekend has been really really meaningful [: and i say it with all my heart (=
didnt touch any work at all, but pillar's right, the time's not wasted (=
im feeling super fulfilled now (:
ps for all the smileys (:
hahaha damn gay (:

idk whats this feeling now. but i know its just so wonderful (: of experiencing so much, and turning back to look. and smile. and share a few laughs with someone(plus loads of embarrassment); all these, its all so meaningful isnt it? another one of life's treasures again. i will keep it in my heart, all that i've been given. all that life has given us. remember, all those sweetest memories. remember all the bitter ones too. and then you get some bittersweet [:

I TOTALLY LOVE HAOPENGYOUS!<3
i think we rock luh. like totally, the whole school where got ppl cooler than us one! :D we went airport today okay! to give qianrui a birthday surprise^^ kaixinnn! :D i felt super happy at the end okay. idk why, but seeing that we'd all made her happy made me super happy too! or maybe its just cos today is different. i know that maybe im the only one. but all that has happened these days, and all these years too, made me just cherish these small simple things alot[:

and this surprise tradition, i think it'll all be kept as part of our dearest memories[: maybe when we're old and recall all the birthdays we've celebrated, we'll remember this bunch of sweet baichis who think of the most exciting ideas and always somehow manage to succeed in the surprise even though its been so many times;D

LOVELOVELOVE HAOPENGYOUS WO AI NI MEN AND I CANT SAY MORE <3

-

today and last night were love[:
its not by coincidence that we always experience the same thing at the same time (:
its been so many years[:
and you know im really not one to talk about stuff. but maybe, that was the thing i needed to be taught.
its the first time i opened up about so much stuff. felt like all the stuff i thought silently to myself about for so long, the feeling was kind of, uh magical. i still feel abit not used to the feeling after talking about it-.-lame si le. but i will learn, to share my life with others [:
yayy[:
sorry uh i know im really putting alot of smileys^^
heh be honoured k, i seldom write TO, in my posts. unless it is..hahahha X] and we're so close, like abit hard to write luh.
oh yeh i thought of an amusing sentence
we know too much about each other to fall in love
-.0 sure!

okay thats all.
shall upload photos later. maybe upload today's photos here.
fellow photographer, im waiting for you to come online! (=
abit leng diao im like talking to myself- -"

complete the sentence:
going back to the past is..
_______________
haha i dont know really:D

hmm maybe one day i shall type out some sentences here (:
when i read back what i write, its kind of amazing.
to think that i actually had so much feelings to write such 'poetic ' sentences.

be thankful for the things that you have not lost [:
感谢你遇见的人
感谢离开你的人
感谢一直陪在你身边的人

ahh lame i decided i still have things to write - -"
wo jue ding le
i shall not worry so much anymore.
dont hold yourself back just because you dont want to hurt someone
because you may end up hurting even more people
sometimes, i guess its true that humans are selfish.
can you dont worry so much about how your actions will affect others?
because in the end, its mostly unnecessary worries.
i mean, what can you do? you worry, but you dont tell the person.
because no one talks about such things, especially if you're seen ,
as the bad guy, or the extra puzzle piece?
so, in conclusion, do what your heart tells you.
dont hurt the person who matters the most to you by worrying that you will hurt the person who the person matters the most to.
haha damn confusing :D

the 2 most important things in life is:
knowing what you want, &
knowing who are the people who matter the most to you
(:

asmileinwords @ 2008-04-05T14:11:00

2008-04-05T06:26:01Z

im going to post alot today[:
okay its over, and i've learnt alot from this. and i dont want to talk about it
but
很多事情，很多人，
简单的事
让我觉得非常感动
有种说不出来的感动
读了甜酸那本书，加上最近发生了这么多事情
让我觉得自己身在福中不知福
很感动，很感激
我会改变的
这段日子，真的让我们大家都很累很累
终于挨过去了。从中，也受过了伤害
那种终于走出黑暗的感觉，真是难以形容
我是不会忘记这段日子那痛苦的感觉
也会永远记得“雨后的彩虹”的意思
成长，就是变得更坚强
许多生活上的磨练，都是让我们一直变得更坚强
这么年来，仿佛走过一段很长的道路，
但和别人比起来，可能不算什么
可是我终于比较看清生命了
你知道吗？
生命本来就是一场恶作剧
它老喜欢让你经历一大堆不是很好笑的笑话
生命总喜欢作弄人，可是也不会恶毒到哪里去
到最后，它还是让你回头看，笑一笑自己
当它认为你经历了足够的痛苦，学习到你该学会的东西，
它将会把他当时从你身边夺走的幸福还给你
而这一刻，你就会如此感动，
因为它让你彻底绝望，然后再生
当你重新得到一些你以为永远失去的东西，
你会觉得很感激，把那样东西我的更紧
所以，
要感谢生命让我们时时刻刻差一点失去，
然后再重新学习拿起

好地，我已把感觉都倒出来了

asmileinwords @ 2008-04-05T13:32:00

2008-04-05T05:59:30Z

just uploaded some pictures of our first photography attempt that day at deviant [: yeah finally!
actually, i started with trying to find a picture in deviant that would describe what im feeling now.
but in the end i couldnt find such a picture.
im using the com like after such a long time. and the feeling that everything became okay, and all sorts. i dont know, its so overflowing.

our professional luggage[:

kaixinnnnn^^

sha xiao (me not her) X]

beautiful singapore river[:

ke ai^^

<3

haha okay thats all (:
for the real artistic ones, go to http://glam-our.deviantart.com/
(=
eh there' a few, but photographer wo zai deng ni upload the real good ones in YOUR semiprofessional cam;D

everything's okay now =')

asmileinwords @ 2008-03-31T08:49:00

2008-03-31T00:53:51Z

screwed.
might be missing in action for quite some time.
everything gone.
tong ku. now is the time to be strong?
oh well. shit happens right.
bye

simple gifts;

2008-03-27T15:02:42Z

and i thought everything would make a difference
but i was just going around in circles
and then at this point, in this moment
you appeared and somehow everything just dissolved
just dissolved you know?
i cant believe it either.
and the feeling that its the only thing matters,
is a feeling i cant shake off,
was never able to explain
and it has followed me since
unknowingly,
原来属于你的这一部分，从来没有离开过我

为了要让你依靠
我会我会
我会告诉自己要做个坚强的人
我并不是一个天生坚强的人
就算有过，也从来不是为了自己
很开心有你做我的理由

不想懂得
当世界不知不觉的变了
有时候我怀念以前的我
作的梦虽然远远的
想像是一种快乐
拥有了同时也失去什么
而眷恋原来会带来软弱
你让我在雾里成熟
心开始曲折
我不想舍得不想懂得
是谁惹谁言不由衷
说谎伤害都是不安犯的错
怕抱不紧什么
我不想舍得不想懂得
谁说割爱才更深刻
彼此依赖是爱不是负荷
互相照顾就是幸福的

i miss all the colours i used to paint.

im posting like everyday o:
and paiseh im in my own world again haha
到最后
最了解自己的人
不只有自己吗？
你能和别人分享的自己
就只有这么多
listen, listen carefully, to your heart

今天的天空真的很美 [:

school (:

house(:

& i will fall asleep with a smile tonight

photos!:D

2008-03-26T15:07:38Z

welldone. i realise the lj cut thing is really such a wonderful invention:D

new love:D
charm bracelets and cute totes<3
heh taken from seventeen mag^^
i dont know why i like to buy 17 these days.
alot of nice colourful things to look at:D i like:D
or maybe influenced by qianrui again hahhaha
charm bracelets are such sweet things *__*
it'll be so cool if i can make them myself, can make for ppl, sell online!:D
but ohwell. dreams luh oO

heh its abit small. but im printing my math worksheets on foolscap paper!
its so cool k!! cos the ink is darker than the lines then abit got the faded background effect:D
like those notebook kind of blogskins.
i strongly recommend da jia men to try it one day!
eh..but its cos i dont have printing paper lor-.- haha lame right^^

HIBISCUS!:D
so exciting. saw it the day i went sixth avenue with vernice and gwen.
then i suddenly stopped to take photo of this flower. then they say i crazy okay! D:
aiya, people first time see hibiscus mah! cannot meh o:
da hong hua!
heh but sunflower nicer[:
eh wait sunflower is my patrol too!^^
k i love sunflower by instinct alr.
roses are the nicest[: haha so cliche but yeah.
do light blue roses exist?oO